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Don't be an Ambot!

2/7/2017

 
The following story is fictional. It was inspired by events taken from real news accounts but does not depict any actual person or event. 
Picture
So, you are sitting in the park one day when you notice a group of wholesome looking kids wearing school uniforms approaching your child. The creepy kids start hugging your child like he is their new best friend. Then, a kid who used to go to his school comes out of the crowd and says, "Hey! We need to talk about something important that will change your life." 

They invite him for a triple scoop hot fudge ice cream sundae and tell him we have these everyday in our new school. "Bet your failing public school doesn't have hot fudge sundaes. Or a brand new pool." They hug on him some more and tell him that they heard that he is a really smart kid. The kind of kid who should be attending a successful school so he can grow up to be a successful person. Then, show other kids how to enroll in a successful school so they can be successful too.

After a brief prayer: "Lord, we ask you for a spirit of openness so that we might change the lives of all children. In Jesus's mighty name, we say, Amen." They then ask your son if he is interested in knowing more about being successful. 

These kids are called "uplines." They love bomb unsuspecting children to be their new best friend then convince them to enroll in the new Bitsy DaBoss American Way Academy where they have yacht rides and other luxuries. Students there are called Ambots and their school mascot is the dollar sign. These kids don't have athletics or art. No homework either. They don't have time. They live, eat, sleep to enroll new students into their school. After enrolling four kids, those four kids have to enroll four more kids. After a a while, they rise to the top of the pyramid and can win new school uniforms or special privileges. 

In order to encourage each other to recruit more students, they meet in school assemblies where they hear inspirational speakers. The students often chant, "Freedom!! Flush that stinking public school education. Freedom!! Flush that stinking public school education."

The excitement builds as students come forward with their success stories. "I was stuck in a a failing inner city school." The crowd boos. "Yes, I was. I was hopeless. Hopeless, I tell you. Until, Miss Bitsy come along and rescued me. Brought me to this fancy new school and now, I am going to be a successful student."

Another student comes forward to say, "I got into this school for five reasons. Five good reasons. The first is to get a good education. The second is to get a good education. In fact, all five reasons are to get a good education." His statement is met with thunderous applause from the audience.


A teacher tells the children, "Tracking me now. All eyes on me. Tracking me." She goes on to say that "95% of students will be failures in a failing public school. And the other 5% will be will be successful students at the AmWay Academy." Another teachers starts to ask where did those statistics come from but after a few dirty looks, she quietened down. Later that day, those statistics were all over the school's Facebook page. But without any citations, of course.

Sadly, AmWay Academy doesn't work out for all kids.

There are stories of children whose families took the vouchers, bought the schools uniforms, worked the mandatory volunteer hours, paid the school fees, yet…it all came crashing down for them. Crying moms told stories of their kids being kicked out for low test scores. Other families say they lost everything when their child was expelled for chewing gum. They tried to re-enroll in their neighborhood public school. But it had closed down. The school system ran out of money. 

Teachers came forward, using the word "scam." "It is a scam," said one teacher who admits to not having a teaching license. Another one asks, "How can we promise these kids a successful education when we are not equipped to teach them?" "I just graduated from college three months ago. I don't know anything about teaching children." Teachers say that they were paid a small pittance. Usually, just enough to make their student loan payment. "It was so overwhelming. I told the children to get on their carpet square but they didn't do it. I couldn't find a bee so I ate an ant but they still didn't follow my instructions."

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